Life is often just many random moments that we try to put together in a chronological sequence. This reminds us that change is constant and inevitable and yet many of us cannot accept, understand or deal with change.
Following are a few of the more common strategies we use to avoid change.
* We say we want to change but take no action.
* We pretend we don’t really care one way or the other.
* We adopt the role of victim.
* We use (or create) obstacles to justify why change is too difficult or not possible.
Many times our reluctance to change is simply because we are quite comfortable with the way things are now. We work hard to find a good balance and circumstances that allow us to feel a sense of control and satisfaction with our life and once we find that “sweet spot” we do just about anything to keep that intact. This works well as long as we have control over it but many times we have to deal with unplanned change, and sometimes we risk settling for less than we deserve or are capable of achieving in life because we avoid reaching for better circumstances.
Either we become an agent of change, or end up a victim of change. It’s essential to
Understand “Resistance Triggers”
There are primarily two circumstances that trigger resistance to change.
Trigger 1 is ‘lack of information about the dynamics involved with the change’. We may be open to a change taking place, but if we are unclear about what will be required or how it will affect other areas of our life then our initial response will involve at least some resistance.
Taking the time to identify areas of concern and fill in the blanks is often enough to calm down enough and look for the opportunities within the change. But if there are underlying issues involved then more work will be required.
Trigger 2 is psychologically based and goes beyond the obvious implications of the change in question. We may need to deal with fear, deeply held attitudes (a fixed mindset), limiting internal beliefs and past experiences.
Awareness helps to alert us to troublesome triggers and resistance, but it’s important to understand that it takes time and consistent effort to clear self-defeating attitudes. Some beliefs are harder to overcome than others since they may have been with us for years.
Shifting our Attitude Toward Change :
No matter how resistant to change we may have been up to now, it is within our power and ability to re-train our body and mind to recognize when change is actually going to be a good thing for us by following three simple but consistent steps…..
1. Acknowledge when you are avoiding change.
2. Accept that your shaken up emotions and resistance are a natural human response and just need understanding.
3.Identify the potential obstacles and create small actions intentionally in the direction of change.
Real change only happens when you want it a lot more than the fear of staying right where you are now.
The bottom line is once you realize that you have an inherent resistance to change you have two choices. You can continue the way things are and risk never discovering your full potential, or you can choose to make the quality of your life important enough to make the pain of holding on to the familiar greater than the fear of letting go.