Things were uncertain and not really under control before the pandemic. We probably controlled mentally and through schedules some aspects of our day and life that helped us align with the illusion that we could predict, plan or manipulate the future. To ensure that the illusion did not run out of fuel, we kept ourselves busy enough to never think about it enough. We set external parameters for success as well including awards, events, posts, pictures and things to acquire to help us play along with the illusion of control.There will always be aspects of our life that we can control or steer in the present moment. There will similarly and more largely so be many aspects of our life that will never be in our control. The things that are not in our control will render us powerless and since none of us likes feeling that we, we will build into our routines and lives illusions of being powerful through some forms of mentalization and through habits and things we can acquire. The emotional fallout for many people has been from the illusions falling away and exposing the vulnerable parts of the self, we were refusing to acknowledge and accept earlier. We were always either too busy or exhausted to address them. Nothing blooms all year long and yet everything has the potential to grow all year long. The growth in different aspects needs to be acknowledged. To be able to achieve a balance in which mental fitness will be a large slice, acknowledging power, our need for power, authentic acceptance of innate power and consciously not giving away our power will be essential.Even the choices we make about our clothing, our choice of posts for social media, our choices of what car to buy or brands to invest in subconsciously lead to the ability to maintain or sustain our illusions of power. Relationships are probably the largest powerhouses. We feel powerful or weak in every relationship. Unhealthy and toxic relationships manipulate power in many ways. Healthy relationships help both people in the relationship feel empowered. In parenting too very often what is branded a behaviour problem is faulty perception of the power equation. The parent wants to feel powerful by controlling behaviour and the child manages to disrupt the whole equation because they are naturally in tune with authentic needs that adults forget or limit over time while trying to “fit in” to a society that defines power through external parameters.
One way to regain power is to become aware of where are growing instead of just the parts of us that are considered or accepted as blossoming. Where we feel powerless is an area we need to examine, accept (not deny), work and grow through. Growth no matter how small is an acknowledgement of authentic power, it means we have not given up, it means that we are even willing to hibernate at times to connect to the deep wellspring of power within us.
Take a moment to see where and how you give your power away, the situations that make you feel less powerful or weak, look for areas for change, acceptance and growth. Regaining power through growth is internal and more authentic. External sources of power are often illusionary and need fuel in terms of our repeated actions or patterns.
Ask yourself:
1. Where when and to whom do I give my power away?
2. What do I need to let go?
3. What do I need to change?
4. What do I need to learn and transform?
5. What do I need to accept?
Grow through the answers…..
