At the time of making a decision or a choice we evaluate the best options and go with what seems right for us then. But many times things and people change after the decision leaving us questioning the decision and doubting ourselves. Some of us who are more prone to being self critical also start feeling guilty, angry and extremely disappointed. The emotions escalate especially when our decisions impact people we love as well especially when they trusted us implicitly.
When our decisions make things fall apart and we look at the things that seem to be “wrong” and become aware of the people who have either changed or begin exposing their true colours it’s time to focus not on our disappointments and wishing for having made a better decision but to complete our role, protect our loved ones and give it closure and set boundaries as early as possible.
The price one often pays for being inspiring and authentic at work and loving and giving in relationships is attracting people who want to “cash in” on that state of flow. We end up trusting whole heartedly till the other person’s words begin to blur and we see the loud and clear actions that are no longer congruent with anything they have promised or we thought they could be.
We have all made such decisions many times in our life. Trusted blindly, given more than what was needed, pursued the wrong choice, gone back on a decision to be reminded never to compromise…..
Such powerful states make way for the most important life lessons.
1. Trust people only when you have known them at least for a year and have seen them in many situations. In the short meetings anyone can appear to be an angel.
2. When you have from past experiences made a decision to follow or to cut off someone or something in your life stick with it. When you lower your guard that life lesson will snap at you much more than ever.
3. Fight to be with the ones who don’t care if you are famous, successful or inspiring but stand strong and silent for you when things go wrong. Be with the ones who know that when they make a mistake they need to change and not sweet talk their way out, justify their action, become silent letting you wonder what they are up-to or blame you for their behaviour.
4. No matter how awful your choice if it’s work finish what you have committed to and never go back to working for the person no matter how effectively they try to persuade you. If it’s a significant relationship set boundaries, communicate or walk away.
5. No matter how foolish the choice stay and fix it if it matters, accept it and complete it with boundaries or walk away cutting off all ties.
After all there are choices of – fix, accept or walk away for everything and no matter what we choose we will only be protecting ourself, not settling for less and most importantly honouring our vulnerabilities which is an integral part of the human experience.
Chin up…. The choices were means to a lesson.