Working with a child as a therapist, parent, facilitator, teacher or coach is one that requires the adult to be attuned with the self and with the brilliance of the developing brain of the child.
Unfortunately with centuries of conditioning we have reduced this magical journey into a set of prescriptive activities to develop something in line with our expectations instead of allowing the child to explore, experience and enrich their life and naturally acquire skills for life.
Schools have replaced attunement with artificially derived expectations. Parents have replaced the attunement with filling their own voids through the growing child.
Instead of connecting with authentic joy that comes from the present moment we have started looking for states like acceptance and patience because the child is “incapable” of doing what is expected.
1. Parental anxiety worsens the situation making this unnatural drill of skill acquisition even more traumatic for each child.
2. Instructional learning along with technology assisted practices have reduced the attunement and connections essential for learning. Content has become more important than the connection.
3. Learning has been reduced and dumbed down to recalling facts that do not necessarily move to assimilation or innovation. Defeating the very purpose of life…
4. Prescriptive techniques have replaced common sense in parenting sessions and in teacher training. Introspection for insight is almost impossible to take to groups of parents and teachers who want quick fix solutions.
The child bears the brunt of this inability of the adults to connect within and be present in the moment. So many receive diagnosis and are often medicated because of the high and developmentally inappropriate expectations not being met. This is worsened by testing of learning and very rarely testing for learning. This trend is likely to worsen if we don’t slow down and question ourselves and how our inability to stay centered and balanced is adversely affecting our children. Life is not so much about excelling at everything ….its so much about being able to learn, unlearn, relearn and love every aspect of it.
We can blame the system not realizing that we are the system. Change starts only with me. If I choose to make a difference it will have no choice but to make an impact.
LIFES GREATEST VICTORIES ARE NOT IN THE LOUD SHOW OF SUCCESS IN MARKS OR AWARDS BUT IN MOMENTS WHERE A CHILD FEELING LOVED AND SUPPORTED SMILES AND OUTSHINES THE SUN.